How To Talk About Sex With Your Spouse?

Sex; we read about it, we write about it, we have it and we love it, yet somehow we get nervous while talking to your partner about sex. Words fail us and the only thing that remains on our mind is getting over with it soon. Everyone knows how crucial good communication is for a healthy relationship, and the same formula applies to sex.

Even when we think we believe that there is nothing dangerous or shameful about sex or talking to your partner about sex, there could be stigma internalized in our mind that we are unaware of. We live in a society where our parents, teachers and several other people in our life tell us to abstain from sex. We might want to believe that the words we heard years ago have made on effect on you, but that could be the underlying reason why you get nervous whenever your partner talking about sex.

As you can see, there are several things that can hinder communication required for a healthy sex life. Now that you have learned about these, here are some tips that will help you breaking the barrier and talking to your partner about the sex that you dread for now.

#1. Make A Plan

Being spontaneous may be something that you like in bed but this is not the right time for it. If you want to have a healthy talking to your partner about the sex, then you do not want to make your partner uncomfortable by catching them off guard? If you blindside your partner, they will most likely go on the defensive mode and you will never get the result that you hoped for from the conversation.

#2. Choose The Right Time And Place

You may think that right after sex or just before it is the best time to have this conversation but do you really want to point out mistakes right then and there? We are at our most vulnerable in the bed and your partner will most certainly get offended if you do so. You can pick a neutral place where both of you feel relaxed and free to talking to your partner about sex and clear the grievances from each other.

#3. Reminisce The Good Old Days

A sense of nostalgia about how good things once were could be all you need to take you down the road of having a productive talk about sex with your partner. You can point out what you miss from the past or how your relationship and sex life has changed in the past some time. Make them realize how your sex life has taken a dip recently and help them understand how important it is to take some corrective measures here.

#4. Refrain From Berating Or Belittling Your Partner

The last thing you want to do while talking to your partner about sex is making them feel like they are bad at it. Everyone makes mistakes and you have to understand that he or she is not a mind reader who already knows what you want without you saying it. 

#5. Be Clear About What You Want

We have already told you to plan your conversation and this is taking it a step further. You do not want to start the talking about sex to your partner and in the middle of it, not know what to say next and where to end it. Before you embark on this tough road, be clear in your mind about what is the outcome that you are looking for.

#6. Be Open To Your Partner’s Ideas

Talking to your partner about sex should not just be about presenting your ideas and getting them to agree and do whatever you want them to. You need to have an open mind towards whatever your partner may bring to the table at the moment. Perhaps you would get a better result that you hoped for if you just listen to your partner.

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